You never miss a trick. Despite an undeniable tendency to cunning and chicanery, you rarely jump a red light or park in a handicap zone. Contradictory? Yes. Monkeys are astute and like to be in on everything. You catch on long before the punch line and only laugh when you're good and ready. If confronted by a seemingly impervious miasma of human complexity, you, nimble-spirited Monkey, will always find the means to restore order.

You are an invaluable aide-de-camp, employee and help-mate. Title, social position and racial differences mean nothing to you. You instinctively recognize that, no matter how high up you are seated, you will still only be sitting on your derrière.

You refuse to grow old. You will be first to leap on to the operating table for a face lift, nose job, hair transplant - or all three! The first and last phases of your life will pass smoothly. Just before age 40, you may experience a sudden loss or a major mid-life crisis. This sinking spell will pass after the age of forty-five.

My advice? Knowing when to bet and when to pass is the secret of winning at those games you so enjoy. Refine your sense of timing through careful, patient observation. You will live longer and better on less if you learn to save your precious energy (and your money) for the big stakes. In choosing a partner, treat yourself to a magnificent Dragon, a go-getting Rat or (if you're feeling serious) a solid citizen Ox. If I were you, I would never take up with people born in the years of the...