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Suzanne White

Author • Adventuress • Astrologer

Life on the Run

Sorrow and Regret

by Suzanne White - on Wednesday, September 19, 2018
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Today I found myself crying. The arrival of this weepy episode was unexpected. Since my kids evicted me from my house in 1998, I have not cried. After that event, I refused all emotion. The pain of what had happened was so deep and pervasive that I knew I would never live through more of the same. So I blocked all entries to emotion.I knew that If I cried about what had happened, I would die crying. So I blockaded emotion. Never again would I trust or believe blindly in anyone.

So many years have gone by. I've had cancer and heart disease and broken my hip and lucky for me always I have recovered. Today, on the French TV news they showed in some charming town in Provence that the small individually owned shops were shutting down. One after the other. That people no longer come to town and search for that perfect dress for that perfect soirée. Now they go to the mall or buy online.

So I was sitting here, as I so often do, watching the TV news which comes on at 13h. At some point they began talking about small businesses closing down. No more cute shops. No more small family run restaurants. Nor more jewelers or butchers or charcuteries. They are just simply closing their doors and leaving. As the news person spoke, I was sinking into my chair, thinking about the slow but sure demolition of all that I knew about living in a town. My town. Nowadays
"You want something? Go to the mall." It was then I suddenly found myself in tears. Sobbing for the loss of my world. ©suzannewhite2018

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Author Suzanne White

About Suzanne White

Suzanne White is the High Priestess of Chinese and Western Astrology. She's American and has lived in France for 50 years. She spends some months in America every year on house swaps. Suzanne says: One day I'm a rip-roaring Yankee and the next day I'm an dainty, elegant Parisienne My totally bi-lingual life is a kind of "managed schizophrenia". It's fun. I live for fun. I will probably die of it too.

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